I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
