He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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