Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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