STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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