i just had sex bonerless
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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