Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
