Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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