You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
