Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
