it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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