I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
