Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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