The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A bitchslap is in order.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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