are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
