I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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