Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
