wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
