every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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