I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize