how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
