You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
