so explain again why im purple
no
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
