i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize