so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
