barbara walters just said penis...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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