I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
