you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
