i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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