You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize