69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
