i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
