We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
did you just send me my own nude
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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