Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
