oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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