i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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