If i come over, it means nothing
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
A bitchslap is in order.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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