Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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