just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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