So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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