i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.