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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (518): View more from New York

  I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!

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• (631): View more from New York

  So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I'm a family man but I have priorities

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.

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