so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member