Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
