If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up