And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top