i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
