Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
