Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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