dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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