Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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