Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
