Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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