You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
