i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I wear drunk well.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
