halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
