I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
