The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Randomize