Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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