yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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