you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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